Category Archives: Humour

A new mattress tax for the UK ?

Men from the ministry mattress tax
Cypriots and foreign investors emptied ATMs after EU deal under which savers must surrender up to 10 percent of their banks deposits as a condition for securing a financial bailout.
UK Army personnel and civil servants stationed on the Island will be recompensed for any loss by the British Government.

Capping Benefits – will this cap the lot ?

The Work and Pensions Secretary Secretary, Ian Duncan Smith’s plan
to Cap benefits got off to a start in four London boroughs by
capping benefits at no more than £500 per week. This covers all social security payments,
including income support, child benefit, incapacity benefit, job-seekers allowance,
employment support and Housing benefit. Eventually they will all be
replaced by the new Universal Benefit.

Universal Benefits

Pensioners goup ‘Zimmers’ impress on Britain’s Got Talent

In the next round are singing pensioners The Zimmers, whose combined age of over 3000 didn’t stop them from impressing the judges with their rapping skills.

The group – who previously found fame in 2007 in a BBC documentary, and who previously released their cover version of The Who’s My Generation – took on the Beastie Boys classic Fight For Your Right To Party this time around, with spectacular results.

“I loved you guys, you are awesome,” said guest judge Carmen Electra, while Alesha Dixon added, “You guys are inspiring, that was brilliant.”

Read More

Jasper Carrott offers some welcome views on getting older

It was enjoyable to listen to Jasper Carrott on BBC1- a stand up comedian with a slant on life as a ‘senior citizen’ – the stand ups that seem to attract most attention – Jimmy Carr, Russell Howard, Lee Mack, Dave Gorman, to mention just a few use material that is definitely not aimed at the ‘Seniors’ age group. If you missed Jasper Carrott’s program you can hear it on the BBC iPlayer:

The disturbing aspect though was that whilst making jokes on a wide range of issues, some of Jasper Carrott’s solutions seemed to have much to commend themsleves to our politicians!

Confession of a car driver

I would like to share an experience with you all, about drinking and driving.

We’ve all done things in the past we’ve not been proud of and knew full well we shouldn’t have.

A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends and had a few too many beers and the odd malt.

Knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I’ve never done before – I took a bus home.

I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise, as I have never driven a bus before and am not sure where I got it from!

National Express launches Dennis the Menace and Oor Wullie branded buses

Transport group National Express has teamed up with DC Thomson to brand 16 new additions of its Dundee fleet with images of Dennis the Menace and Oor Wullie.

The cartoon liveries will hit the streets this week in a bid to brighten up the commute of Dundonians, whist celebrating the artistic heritage of the city.

Oor Wullie celebrated his 75th anniversary last March whilst Dennis the Menace picked up his own free bus pass that same month – after turning 60.
Read more in The Drum

Sex workshops for pensioners cancelled due to lack of interest

A workshop for pensioners to learn about “sex in later years” has been cancelled due to lack of interest.

The free session, called Generation Sex, was being run by Portsmouth City Council with the aim of encouraging older people to practise safer sex.

It was to be part of the council’s 60+ festival, “aimed at exploring the realities of sex in the 21st century” because “sex over 60 can be largely seen as a taboo subject”.

A spokesman said the event, which was due to happen at a library today, would be “Frank, fun and factual”.
But it appears those over 60 did not agree.
Read more on Scottish Daily Record